Alliance
By Kanay

Anna Wechsler buttoned her coat up to her neck and retied her scarf to protect her face from the sharp wind and biting cold that blanketed Berlin. She remembered Decembers to be cold, but temperatures this severe were unusual before the New Year. Shoving her hands into her coat pockets, she breathed into the scarf and hoped her breath bouncing off would somehow warm her face as she stepped up her pace. She was already running late but knew the birthday party her lover was hosting for her at the club downtown couldn’t possibly start without its guest of honor.

On the eve of her twentieth birthday, Anna declined an invitation to spend another night with her family, reliving the same stories of her childhood, singing the same ludicrous songs, and eating the same dinner her mother always prepared on the eve of her birthday. Her life was just beginning to take shape and she wanted something different this year. She was the manager at her family’s very successful bakery, she had more friends than she could count, and her world centered on the most wonderful woman she had ever met, Rachel. Her family hadn’t yet met Rachel, or even knew Anna was attracted to women for that matter, but that would all come in good time. She wanted to make absolutely sure Rachel was the one before she confronted her family and risked the business to the scorn of customers and neighbors once they found out.

That was for another time though. Tonight belonged to her and Rachel, and since all her friends were at the club too, there would be no fear of hiding her identity, no worries about whether or not the family business would survive if people found out, and certainly no doubts about who she really wanted to be with tonight. With the bakery closed Sundays, the only possible times to see Rachel were Saturday nights, and she was bound to make the most of their limited time together, even if it meant staying out all night.

Only two more blocks, she thought as she hustled down the street. Off in the distance she could make out the lights of the club and the excitement continued to build within her, but the crowd was extraordinarily loud tonight. As she neared to within a half block, sirens suddenly raced towards her and sounds of breaking glass and chaotic shouting filled the air that caused her to freeze in her tracks. Police cars sped by and people began screaming and running wildly in every direction. People she knew and saw every day in the bakery, her friends, were being beaten and hauled away. Her first reaction was to run and find Rachel, but as she began making her way through the wave of people running away, a man grabbed her arm and covered her mouth as he forced her into a dark damp alley.

“It’s the raids,” he whispered in her ear. “Be quiet or they’ll hear us.”

Anna could tell he was frightened, despite his enormous size. The police raids on certain clubs had been increasing in recent weeks but she hadn’t witnessed one firsthand, until tonight. “Come with me.”

He pulled her into a covered enclosure and broke down the door that led straight into the kitchen of a small diner a few addresses down the block from the club, guessing they would be safe if they barricaded the door behind them. Inside, they waited, terrified, and listened to the pounding of their own hearts as the noise from the street became louder with shouting and sobs too indecipherable to make out.

Anna was frozen with fear. If they were caught there was no telling what would happen to them, but it wasn’t herself she was worried about right now. Rachel was in that club and she needed to find out what was happening. She needed to know if Rachel was all right. Her instincts caused her to motion for the door, but her savior pushed her away so hard she fell to the floor.

“You may have a death wish but I don’t. Stay still and be quiet,” he ordered.

The floor was cold and she ripped her dress in the fall, but she was too afraid to move again. Instead, she clutched the locket she wore around her neck and opened it, fixing her eyes on the beautiful brunette who captured her heart, and waited.

Nearly an hour had gone by when the noise level dropped to near zero, and when he felt the police were no longer waiting for hidden stragglers to come out, he began removing the barricade they put up for protection.

“So what happens to the people they arrested?” Anna asked.

“Not sure. I haven’t been caught yet, but I know people who were caught weeks ago that haven’t been heard from since,” he shook off the unpleasant thought. “You should be more careful. I saw you running toward them. You might not be so lucky next time.”

She suspected he knew exactly what happened to the captured people but wasn’t telling. Everyone heard the rumors about the detention camps the Jews were taken to but no one had solid evidence they even existed. Anna was deep in her own thoughts when she vaguely heard him mumble something before dashing out the door.

Cautiously, she peered into the alley and listened for any hint of trouble. Nothing. As he carefully made his way back onto the street, she watched as he blended well into the darkness and appeared at times to be nothing more than a shadow. When he made it safely, she surmised that she would have to make her way out too and followed his example, hiding in the shadows behind garbage cans and stacked crates as she moved closer to the street. The night had a ghostly feel to it now: an eerie silence that pierced the air was the only sound. Even the wind that was so fierce before the raid was silenced.

A single streetlamp at the far corner of the block lit the road, and as she looked around on the street, she quickly became sick to her stomach. Damp stains with papers stuck to them littered the ground, broken windows lined the storefronts, glass was scattered everywhere, and not a single person was in sight. The frightening part about this was she knew that if she returned tomorrow night the street would be jumping with people again, oblivious to anything that happened here tonight.

Tears began flowing freely down her cheeks as she recalled seeing the faces of the first people brought out of the club. Regardless of the chaos that happened here only a short hour ago, her mind was vividly reliving the tragedy that happened despite how hard she tried to block it out. For now, the uncertainty of Rachel’s fate was the hardest to bear.

There was nothing more she could do tonight but wait for the newspapers to come in the morning and read about what happened and find out when she could see Rachel again. Although the temperature hadn’t changed, she wasn’t as cold as she was when she first arrived, but she buttoned her coat up again anyway, retied her scarf and began walking home. Feelings of extreme guilt and anger overcame her as she continued thinking about Rachel. If I didn’t get here late, we would be together now. I should have been here sooner.

By the time she arrived home, her family had all gone to bed. Her head was pounding and all she wanted to do was curl up in the corner and have someone hold her and tell her everything would be fine, but she knew that wouldn’t happen. Not tonight. Rather than go to bed and lay awake feeling useless, she paced her room all night thinking about why her friends had been arrested to begin with. She had never seen anything so harsh before in all her life and was almost certain it had to do with the government and all the politics involving the War. Still, she wondered, what kind of government would intentionally harm its own people? It wasn’t making sense, but she would find out the truth in the papers.

Early the next morning, before anyone else in the family was awake and their own newspaper was delivered, she made her way to the closest store to read the news. There wasn’t a single word inside the entire paper about the raid. Furious, she walked nearly 2 miles to the police station to ask about those arrested.

“Sorry. I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” was the only response she got from the police chief before he shooed her away.

Liar. She was there when it happened. She saw them hauling people away. She heard them screaming. She saw him. Unsure of how to proceed next, she slowly walked down the corridor when an older man pulled her aside.

“Looking for friends taken in the raids?” he asked with a voice so low she could barely hear him.

He wasn’t a police officer but he obviously knew something about what happened last night. “Yes. Last night. What can you tell me about it?”

“They’re gone. Ghosts. You’ll never learn the truth about them. Not here anyway. Now leave before you rouse suspicions,” he warned. He looked her over carefully, shaking his head. “Pretty thing like you should be more careful.”

Anna looked at him piercingly, apprehensive of his motives for telling her something like that. Had he suspected she was a lesbian? Why else would he have mentioned her rousing suspicions? It was all so confusing now, and she decided there was one person she could trust to tell her the truth: her father.

When she arrived home again, her family was all seated at the table having breakfast. Her brother and sister, off from school for the holidays, were both discussing an upcoming party they were invited to while her mother and father were eating their breakfast quietly, enjoying their only day off this week from the bakery.

“Happy birthday, Anna. We thought you ate already. Have a seat,” her mother said as she bustled over to the stove and prepared a plate for her.

Anna ate her breakfast in silence, trying to come up with a way to approach her father about the raids that wouldn’t result in an argument. She knew he had a mean temper at times and it was almost impossible to predict when his mood would change until it was too late. She was also wary about discussing politics with him, considering the fact that they disagreed on many different levels, most particularly Hitler’s Anti-Jewish Nuremberg Laws and the Nazi Olympics in Berlin. Still, she was certain that if anyone could point her in the right direction of what happened it would be him. A father wouldn’t lie to his own daughter. Finishing her meal, she hesitated while playing with a single remaining piece of sausage on her plate, and when everyone but her father had gotten up from the table, she began questioning him about what he knew and how to find Rachel.

“Papa, I heard about a raid last night at one of the clubs downtown.” He rustled the newspaper as he turned the page but hadn’t commented yet. “What happens to the people they arrest?”

“They’re relocated, dear.”

“Relocated to where?”

“It doesn’t concern us,” he offered sharply without sympathy to the victims of the raids.

“I was just wondering. I’ve been hearing about raids for quite some time now but I haven’t heard about trials.”

Glancing at his wife near the sink, he leaned in and whispered harshly, hatred seething through his words, “Anna, those people are vagrants. They disgust me. They pollute our country and now our government is taking care of us. They deserve what they get. Don’t get involved.”

They deserve what they get? She was beginning to believe all the rumors she heard really were true. Were people really being taken to their deaths because they were different? Was Rachel one of them? Is she dead now? Did her father approve of her governments actions? The thought of even sitting at the same table with this man now disgusted her. Everything she believed about him, how much she loved and respected him despite his faults, it all changed in minutes when he revealed his true self to her.

“I won’t, Papa,” she mumbled, barely able to get the words out without breaking down. Images of Rachel being beaten and tortured played continuously in her head, and she couldn’t even tolerate being in the same room with someone who approved of the atrocities she witnessed last night. Distressed, but hiding it from her father, she left the table and went straight to her bedroom and vomited. When she cleaned herself up, she knew what she had to do, having considered this possibility all night long. You’re so naïve, Anna. This wasn’t the country she knew and loved anymore, and she certainly couldn’t stay here and support a government that killed its own citizens because they were different. Her father’s words played in her mind repeatedly as she gathered her traveling documents and packed a small bag. By the end of the day she would be gone, leaving behind everything she knew and loved in search of a life filled with uncertainty. She was afraid, but she couldn’t continue turning a deaf ear and living under the protection of a government that killed innocent people. Killed Rachel.

France
Spring 1943

She sat on the veranda overlooking the French countryside on the finest spring morning of the year thus far. Birds chirped, flowers in full bloom scattered the hillside, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, yet for some reason, Ellie Schraeder wanted to be anywhere but here.

Married to a high-ranking military officer in the German army during the war, she was used to having her husband called away for duty at a moment’s notice. The feeling was nothing new and usually the first day of his departure left her feeling miserable, but the misery she felt this morning was something she had been feeling for weeks. She quietly watched as two birds fluttered by, chirping their happiness that spring had arrived, and she wondered why she wasn’t happy as well.

Hoping it would somehow lessen her grief, Ellie considered her good fortune for a minute. She lived in a fine house, was married to a successful man, and had been given anything her heart desired, yet through all this she never felt more miserable than she did right now.

A gentle breeze blew and she was forced to wrap her arms around herself to keep warm, but that only brought back nostalgic feelings of her childhood. She was always comforted by her mother when she was afraid, and she distinctly remembered the feeling of being wrapped in her mothers arms, the gentle way her mother stroked her hair while whispering reassuring words in her ear. “You’re someone special, Elsa. You’re going to do great things.” But those words felt empty and meaningless now as she sat surrounded in luxury while not having anything to be proud of, something she could call her own.

And what is it you want? She continued thinking about her childhood, her love of school, and how she wanted nothing more than to be an artist. She certainly had a talent for it, winning art contests all through school and even being accepted into one of the finest art schools in Europe. But that was too many years ago. Before the War. Before Charles. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her husband. She did. It was more that she wasn’t in love with him. Any woman would easily fall for his good looks and charm, but she never found herself attracted to him romantically.

Ellie walked over to the rail and leaned over, noticing the irony of being high above the ground while feeling at her lowest point as she recollected the days Charles courted her: they dined at the finest restaurants, he bought her expensive jewelry, and she became the envy of all her friends. Being several years older than her and coming from a wealthy background as well, he had already begun a promising military career by the time they met and was much more experienced in the ways of world. She remembered how excited her father was with the attention Charles showed her, a far cry from the other boys who showed an interest in his only daughter, and he wanted them to marry and keep all that money in the family. At first she was ecstatic that someone as handsome and charismatic as Charles would even pay her the slightest attention since she always considered herself to be unattractive and clumsy, but when they wed, she knew she had done something to make everyone proud. Everyone but me, she thought, realizing that as the years wore on and he spent more time away than actually at home, she grew to love him only as a dear friend who occasionally came to visit, far different than the love a wife should have for her husband.

Over the course of their twenty year marriage and constant moving around, she lost contact with all of her friends and had to rely on the house servants as her social connection to the outside world. Any high hopes she had for a happy life with Charles before their marriage were quickly dashed when she realized that she married him to appease her family, something she did far too often.

The breeze picked up again and she decided sitting at the table closer to the house would block the direct wind. As she settled into her seat again another reminiscent feeling overcame her, and her mind flashed on a fond moment she had in her very first art class. The professor had instructed them to study the model, a bowl of fruit, and draw it from memory. Most of the class had trouble recalling which fruits were even in the bowl, but she replicated the bowl exactly as if her painting was a photograph and completed the assignment before anyone else. She received high praise and recognized at that moment she had a real talent for art.

As she continued thinking about her life and all it was missing, it made her sad to think about everything she gave up. She heard stories of her old friends who married, had children, and went on to productive lives. Marla, her best friend through childhood, had gone on to become a successful clothing designer, while her other friend, Kathleen, had married and moved to Italy. With her fortieth birthday nearing, she knew she was going to have to do something drastic to change her life, else she would continue in this downward spiral and never have anything to be proud of. This place may be a palace, she thought as she admired her surroundings, fine works of art and lavish collectables, and it may be luxurious, but it has become my prison with no rules and no possibility to be myself. She was tired of being lonely and even more tired of not having anything to do. She wanted to be useful instead of sitting around, ordering her house servants to do things she could simply do herself. But most of all, she wanted her life back. She wanted to draw again. You know what you have to do, Ellie.

“Good morning,” a voice behind her called out. Ellie quickly brushed away a stray tear and sat upright, trying her best to hide her discomfort this morning before turning to greet her housekeeper. When she finally did acknowledge her presence, she smiled politely at the tall, blonde woman as she did every morning.

Anna quietly slipped through the doors carrying a tray of coffee and fresh baked muffins. “It looks like a fine day ahead.”

Ellie, being short on words right now, only nodded in response. Normally she would have made small talk with the younger woman, a woman whom she spent the last four years working with side by side running a smooth household, but this morning she felt more alone than usual and wanted to bask in the feeling since it was the only thing in her life right now she could really call her own.

After Germany’s invasion of France and most of the higher military officers appropriated French households, Charles wanted to dismiss all the domestic help in his new house, but since two were German citizens, Anna and the head cook, Josef, Ellie persuaded him to keep them both. Josef died within weeks of the takeover and was quickly replaced by another German, Kurt, recommended by another officer Charles knew well, and Anna was quickly promoted to head housekeeper. Now, four years later, she was the person Ellie turned to when she needed anything.

“I was going into the city today. Would you like me to pick up anything while I’m there?”

She knew Anna preferred to spend her days off in Paris. The love of the big city life was favored among many of the younger women, and Paris could compete with the buzz of any major city in the world, despite the smothering feeling she got herself from the vast military presence as she spent her time in German social locales out of safety concerns.

“Yes. Could you bring back some paper? I was thinking about taking up drawing again.”

“I didn’t know you liked to draw,” Anna said with a modest hint of curiosity in her tone.

“Yes, I loved it when I was younger. It’s been far too long but I’d like to see if I still have the ability.”

“Very well.”

Anna nodded and left her alone again on the veranda with her thoughts. She knew the woman well enough to tell when she needed some time alone, and even though she sensed a sadness coming on for weeks now, today she seemed worse. He hasn’t even been gone a full day yet, she thought as she pondered Ellie’s lack of conversation, assuming it was due to the Commander’s departure. She also knew it would be a while before he would be back again, but Ellie would soon be back to her old self, probably by the end of the week. Still, she didn’t understand why the older woman couldn’t be more like she was. She didn’t depend on anyone. Taking one last glance at the woman just to make absolutely sure there was nothing seriously wrong, she turned and quietly left.

Ellie poured herself some coffee and looked over the muffins Anna brought out. There were several different varieties to choose from, as always was the case whenever Anna baked anything, but the apple muffins were her favorite, and therefore she always chose them first. She was exceptionally fond of Anna’s baking and encouraged her to do so as often as she wanted. She knew from Anna’s background check that the young woman’s family owned a bakery, but she had no idea Anna was so good at it until she made a strudel while temporarily taking over the cooking duties after Josef died. It was then, she concluded, that if she weren’t more mindful of her diet, Anna would be responsible for putting more pounds on her waistline than Charles would like.

Thinking of Charles again immediately brought her thoughts back to her desire to draw again. She knew Anna would be gone most of the day, possibly even returning very late this evening as she sometimes did on her days off, and wouldn’t be back with the paper until after she was asleep. She mulled over in her mind the possibility of going into town to get the paper herself, returning and discovering if her knack for drawing was still present. Yes, a trip to the city sounds like fun. After breakfast she would prepare for the drive into Paris for some sight seeing and light shopping.

As clear as the sun was shining bright on this spring day, Ellie was enjoying her visit to the city. She spent most of the morning window shopping and managed to find a cute little hat that perfectly matched a suit she had at home. This being her first trip alone to the city, she was enjoying the feeling of escape from the confinement she normally had to live with at home, even if it meant dealing with occasional harassment. She felt bad for the French, knowing her people had put them out of their homes, onto the street, and turned their lives upside down. She tried her best to fit in here, learning the language and dressing down, but no matter how hard she tried, she didn’t ever think she could hide the fact that she lived in luxury while these people suffered hardships she couldn’t even begin to imagine. “It’s for their own good,” Charles told her. “We’re unifying Europe.” Her mind raced for something else to think about as she tried to get his voice out of her head. Enjoy yourself now, Ellie. You’re here to relax.

With the paper purchased already, the rest of her day was free of obligation and she could do as she pleased. She hesitated walking through a nearby park on the outskirts of the city since there appeared to be no other people in sight, something Charles warned her about when they first moved to France, but something about it drew her in. Once inside, though, her fear dissipated and she realized it had been over four years since she last walked though a park. It was more serene than she originally thought it would be with the squirrels running around collecting nuts and birds chirping more loudly here than at home, and being surrounded in tall trees too numerous to count gave her a placating feeling. A combination of a cool breeze and shade chilled her bones though, and since she left home without a sweater, she thought it best to get back to the street, in the sun. Not quite time to leave the sweater behind.

Once she got back in the sun, she felt the same warmth welcoming her back. Her stomach rumbled lightly and she knew it was coming time for lunch so she began making her way back to the downtown district, following a path along the Seine.

A man sitting beside a bench stretched out his hand, begging for food, but all she had were a few coins that she gladly put into his cup. She hated seeing people suffer, especially when she indirectly benefited from it. Softly smiling, she silently tried to convey her apologies, but it did little good and he spit on her leg.

“Scum. Go back to your own country,” he shouted.

Ellie looked up and a few heads of those passing by had glanced at the commotion, hatred radiating from their eyes, and not one offered to help her. She was starting to think it might be best to stay in the more protected areas of the city, for her own safety. Still, she was here to experience the city, and that’s what she intended to do. “I’m sorry,” she offered before she went on her way, and despite how it sounded, she really did mean it.

Continuing on the path along the river, she stopped on a pedestrian bridge, along with a few others, to calm herself down from the huff she worked herself into. It’s not your fault these people are suffering. When this war is over, everything will be fine. She knew it was a lie, but it was all she had to believe in. As she continued imagining what these people must be going through and why they hated her so much, she caught tidbits of a friendly voice not so far away speaking…in German.

“…and the last time I celebrated my birthday was at home…”

Ellie listened closely, noting that the young woman speaking was definitely a native of her country rather than someone who had spoken German as a second language to get by in the occupation. There was no mistaking the accent.

“…but that was many years ago. Now I am here, trying to forget. As are you.”

Ellie wasn’t sure what it was that made her feel safe, but there was something comforting in the woman’s voice. She looked around to see who was speaking and settled on a young couple a few feet away. She wasn’t even sure it was them until she heard the woman speak again and matched a voice with her motions.

“I believe you were going to take me out on the town today, Hans,” the woman continued jokingly, and her male companion leaned in and kissed her before they turned and headed in the direction of a small café across the street.

She watched as they entered the café, holding hands like a young couple in love, and was abruptly reminded of her growing hunger by another rumble in her stomach. Smiling, she imagined how wonderful it must feel to be young and in love, and more so, how wonderful it felt to eat. But now they were gone, and the familiarity that came with hearing the woman speaking in her own tongue was soon replaced by the French she still struggled with after four years. Yes, I believe it’s time for lunch, she thought, and trotted across to the same café that had just become her haven in a storm.

Once inside, she was promptly seated in the corner, no doubt because she was alone, but she preferred it this way. It gave her an opportunity to surreptitiously watch people. One thing she learned over the years from dining out with Charles was that there was nothing more mind numbing than listening to the same dreary military stories time and again. She discovered in their first year of marriage that you could discover more about a person in five minutes of unobserved watching than you could during hours of conversation, so that’s what she did from then on whenever she was out in public. While he would rattle on about this lieutenant or that commander she would smile, nod on occasion, and simply go elsewhere in her mind.

During her lunch she watched the young couple, studying their movements. She couldn’t entirely make out the young man, given that a couple at a table between them shielded him, and even though the woman’s back was to Ellie, her view of the woman was unobstructed enough to see her face. She was young and very beautiful, probably not even twenty years old. They held hands and she smiled frequently, and she seemed to do most of the talking from what Ellie could gather.

The room eventually began clearing out as the lunch hour ended and people continued going about their day, but the young couple remained and it was hard for Ellie to continue watching without being conspicuous. Finally, when they had ordered a second dessert, she decided it might be best to head back home and she began gathering her items while concentrating on the most direct route back to her ride so as to avoid the harassment she faced when she first arrived in the city.

“Would you like anything else?” the waiter asked, breaking her concentration.

“No thank you,” she quickly retorted.

He nodded in compliance, and when he walked to a group at another table to refill their coffees, she picked up her packages and a made the journey through the crowd of tables to catch a last glance at the happy couple. When she came to within a few feet of their table though, and she heard the young man’s familiar voice, a jolt shot through her body. This wasn’t a man at all. It was Anna!

Startled, but too close to their table to turn away now, she dropped her eyes to the floor and avoided any eye contact as she quickly picked up her pace while trying to remain unnoticed. But as she walked past their table, the conversation stopped, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Anna quickly pull her hands away from the woman’s while Anna’s eyes watched her every step as she left the cafe.

When she reached the gate leading to the main street, she turned and looked at Anna once more, making absolutely certain this was her head housekeeper. Yes, there was no doubt about it. How could I have not noticed that? Though Anna didn’t stop her, probably out of fear, she still knew the woman well enough to spot her in a crowd of people, even in disguise.

Ellie immediately returned home after lunch. Still confused by the image of her housekeeper disguised as a man, she carelessly dropped her packages by the door and went out to her favorite thinking place. For the rest of the day, she sat on the veranda processing what she witnessed at lunch and eagerly waited for Anna’s return. She always heard of women who sometimes dressed as men and pursued other women, but she never met any before, and she always thought they would be more…masculine. Anna’s appearance could be classified as anything but masculine; her long blond hair, full lips, and curvy body were the epitome of femininity. She continued obsessing on Anna straight through dinner, and before she realized, the sun had set and it became too chilly to enjoy the outdoors, so she moved into the house and sat in the room she used as a study while continuing to think about her encounter.

For a short while longer she entertained the concept that Anna had been doing this for a while. How could I have missed this? She thought hard but never recalled any obvious hints from Anna’s behavior in the past that she could be attracted to women; Anna was friendly with everyone. The mysterious woman that Anna had suddenly become to her over the course of the day was quickly mesmerizing her. She thought she knew everything there was to know about her head housekeeper, but apparently the young woman led an altogether different life outside of what she showed the Schraeder’s.

And what could they be doing all this time? It was fast approaching midnight and nothing, she realized, was open this late during the week. They must be in private. Images of Anna kissing, and being kissed, soon flooded her mind. Anna’s full lips pressed lightly against that woman’s while she ran her long, slender fingers through that thick dark hair. The image was so clear in her mind and caused her to involuntary moisten her own lips as it played out. She watched as Anna pulled their bodies closer together, resting her hands on the woman’s waist as they swayed gently to soft music playing in the background before Anna took the woman’s hand and began leading her to another room...

Suddenly, she shook herself out of her trance and sat upright. I wonder what else she’s hiding. A combination of curiosity and mistrust now getting the better of her, Ellie was about to get up and have a look inside Anna’s bedroom, perhaps rummage through some of her personal items to see what other interesting discoveries were yet to be made when she heard the front door open and footsteps walking into the foyer.

“Anna? Is that you?” A few seconds passed by before she heard some shuffling in the other room, and eventually the door to the study opened and Anna stood in the frame, silhouetted by the light behind her but looking exactly as she had when she left early this morning.

“I brought your paper,” she offered weakly.

Though Ellie couldn’t see Anna’s expression because her face was shadowed, she could tell by her slumping posture and tone there was something wrong. What started out a few seconds of silence was rapidly building into an uncomfortable scene for Ellie, something she never experienced before with Anna. A few minutes ago she was about to shamefully violate Anna’s privacy by snooping into her personal things, but now that Anna was back home, that very same idea seemed out of the question. She also sensed from Anna’s quietness that the young woman was apprehensive about something. After spending the day witnessing first hand the effects intimidation had on people, the last thing Ellie wanted to do to was be responsible for that in her own home with someone she considered a friend. Rather, she rose from her chair, walked up to Anna and, stifling the urge to place a gentle hand on her shoulder, calmly said, “Thank you. Just leave it on the table there.”

Anna didn’t know how to react. She spent the latter part of the day fretting over being discovered at that café by her boss in the midst of escorting a beautiful woman about the city, and she was deeply afraid to even come home tonight, but Ellie didn’t even appear to be angry. Although they never made direct eye contact at the café, Anna didn’t think there was the slightest chance Ellie didn’t recognize her. It was obvious that Ellie was bothered by something though, sitting alone in the dark with every light in the house turned off. She thought that in itself was strange for this time of night, and when she walked into the foyer and caught a glimpse of the auburn haired woman sitting alone in the study with only the faintest moonlight illuminating the room, she was all but certain she was out of a job. Now she was having second thoughts about being discovered. “Is there anything I can get for you?” she asked, trying to sound her normal self.

“No. Why don’t you go to bed? We can talk in the morning.”

Anna offered a quick nod and went to her room. She was terrified about sleeping tonight, living in a high ranking military official’s house under the same regime that killed her friends and lover years ago, but the truth was she had no other place to go. She had acquaintances that she knew in Paris and her good friend that owned the café, but none she knew well enough to risk their own lives by putting her up under these conditions. With her lesbian status potentially uncovered now, she would have to keep a close eye on the situation and an even closer eye on Ellie.

Anna came downstairs early the next morning, absolutely exhausted after not sleeping more than ten minutes all night, and those precious few minutes came only after she laid her head down while keeping an ear out for movement in the hall. She swore she heard something moving shortly after midnight and immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the door, pressing her ear against it to hear whoever was out there, but no one was. The rest of the night left her nerves a jittery mess and now she was paying the price for her lack of sleep with a headache.

“Good morning,” she said, casually greeting the cook, Kurt, who was hastily preparing breakfast. She looked out the doors to the veranda as she moved about the kitchen and saw Ellie already dressed and awake. Any feelings of ease were abruptly thrown out as the fear she incurred last night came soaring back with a vengeance. “How long has she been out there?”

“Don’t know. At least a half hour.”

Anna quickly grabbed some orange juice from the refrigerator and sliced some fruit for Ellie while the coffee perked and Kurt finished breakfast, putting aside any plans she had for eating an early breakfast herself.

“Good morning,” she said, announcing her presence the way she did every morning Ellie waited for breakfast on the veranda, weather permitting. She still expected Ellie to fire her on the spot after being uncovered in the café but her boss seemed far different this morning.

Ellie was poised at a tiny makeshift counter a few feet from the breakfast table, busy arranging and rearranging flowers, trying to get just the right look. Spread across the counter were several different drawings of various fruit bowls from different angles, and she was deep in thought when Anna came outside.

“Oh! You startled me, Anna.”

“My apologies.” Anna placed the juice on the table and was surprised to see the table set for two. She didn’t think the Commander would be back after only a day and couldn’t imagine who else Ellie would have for breakfast. Unless…

“I thought you might like to have breakfast with me while we talk,” Ellie said as she came over to join Anna. “We have something important to discuss this morning.”

Immediately, Anna thought this was the beginning of the end and she didn’t know what to do. Her first reaction was to break down into tears, but that was only because she didn’t sleep last night, her head pounded, and she couldn’t think straight. “Fine.”

Ellie gestured for her to sit down and Kurt, as if on cue, came out with a stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and a pot of hot coffee. Everything smelled delicious, and she couldn’t remember a time when Ellie had ever asked her to join her for breakfast so this was at least a pleasant way to get fired.

She followed Ellie by preparing a plate of food and poured herself some juice. As they both sat eating in silence, Anna’s mind wanted to explode. Why doesn’t she just do it? What is she waiting for? Occasionally she would look at Ellie’s eyes, trying to read what might be going on in her mind, but the older woman was far too experienced in not letting her facial expressions give away her thoughts, probably something she learned from living with a military man. When they did manage to make direct eye contact, Ellie simply smiled and Anna’s nerves frayed even more.

“I learned something interesting yesterday,” Ellie said casually, causing Anna to spill her juice on the table in reaction.

Both women reached for napkins simultaneously, attempting to stop the juice from spilling further along the table, but when Ellie noticed Anna was making more of a mess than cleaning up, she realized how her words must have sounded to the already terrified woman and placed a consoling hand on Anna’s, trying to ease her worries. “Everyone spills juice from time to time. Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night, and…” Anna trailed off, flustered and unsure how to make sense out of her clumsiness. Ellie poured her another glass and continued as if nothing happened.

“As I was saying, I learned something interesting yesterday.” Ellie paused and looked at her carefully, and Anna swore in that instant that if she didn’t know the older woman as well as she did she would have guessed Ellie was playing with her, purposely trying to make her uncomfortable. But that wasn’t who Ellie was, and despite how out of character she was acting this lately, she probably wasn’t turning into a sinister woman now. “I received a telegram from my husband. We’re hosting a dinner party here in less than a week and I would like you to do the cooking- if you’re up to it.”

“You want me to cook for you?” Anna couldn’t believe her ears. She was precariously flirting with disaster by continuously going out in public dressed as a man and escorting women about the city, which was considered a dangerous lifestyle among her people, and she strongly believed her boss discovered her secret, yet Ellie hadn’t given any indication she suspected a single thing.

“Only if you’re up to it. It’s going to be a large party, mostly military officials and of course their wives. I’m guessing around fifty people, but that could change.” Ellie took a forkful of eggs and waited for her answer.

“Don’t you think that’s something Kurt could do better? Or perhaps hire an outside group to handle to foodstuffs.”

“If you don’t want to, I won’t pressure you. I just thought you might like to have a hand in arranging this with me and—“

“No,” Anna interrupted. “I would love to. I just wouldn’t know where to begin.”

Ellie smiled at her warmly. “That’s where I come in. We can discuss the specifics later, but I’m still going to need your help keeping this house together in addition to working on the menu.”

“Of course.” Anna allowed Ellie’s smile to penetrate through her, easing her fears. She was pleased that her hard work and dedication to the woman over the years had brought them to this level, a level that she could be trusted with something as important as this without a second thought.

“There is one more thing, though, that I would like to know.”

“Of course,” Anna said.

“I was at a café in Paris yesterday, just across from the Seine. Are you familiar with it?”

Anna felt her heart skip a few beats. She swallowed hard, not knowing what to expect, and nodded her recognition.

“They make the most delicious cheesecake. Do you think you can get the recipe? I want it served at the party.”

Ah, the cheesecake. Anna knew it well, having it be one of her favorite desserts and the reason she dined at that café whenever she was in the city. She was sure her friend who owned the café would give her the recipe is she asked. The taste was still fresh in her mind since she had it only yesterday with…her heart skipped another beat as she remembered the dessert was just brought to her table seconds before Ellie walked by, seconds before she pulled her hands away from Cassandra’s. “I think I can arrange to get the recipe,” she said cautiously.

“Wonderful.”

After the women finished their meal, Anna cleared the table while Ellie returned to her drawings. When she woke this morning, Anna had been certain Ellie had seen her yesterday. But then her failure to say anything about it, indeed her failure to even act as if anything were wrong, was confusing. For a moment it seemed as if maybe their close encounter had slipped under Ellie's perception. But then, the way she appeared to almost be toying with Anna seemed like a declaration of sorts. Anna mused over it. "Learned something yesterday" indeed, she thought. And to have specifically requested the cheesecake from the café! It seemed impossible that it could have been a coincidence. Yes, Ellie had most definitely seen her. Her behavior now was some kind of signal, Anna decided: a signal that she had no plans to acknowledge their encounter. She stood at the window watching Ellie work, captivated suddenly by the graceful movement of her hand. She seemed entirely unaffected by the encounter that had plunged Anna's world into a terror of uncertainty. A form of a tree began to take shape on the paper. Anna was overcome with a certain warmth, one that made her feel all the more uncertain and confused. In all her years working for this woman, Anna had never questioned anything about her. Ellie always made her expectations clear, and their business relationship had been easy. But now, Anna wasn't sure about any of her assumptions anymore. Who are you, Ellie Schraeder?

It was mid afternoon and Ellie hadn’t seen Anna since breakfast. This wasn’t that uncommon, however, since Anna usually cleaned upstairs in the afternoon. What was unusual was that Ellie had been so absorbed in her drawings that she hadn’t stopped for lunch, nor had anyone stopped her. She was enjoying the freedom from her mundane life that drawing now gave her, and she found herself sketching everything her eye passed over.

Going through the pile of papers before her, she examined her work. There were birds, flowers, trees, fruit, a sketch of her dining table, and even one of the landscape. Not bad, she mused at her beginning pieces but still longed to really put her skill to the test. She was pleased to note her talent hadn’t been lost over the years. Tired of inanimate objects, however, she wanted a real challenge now¾ a living subject. Without further hesitation, she went inside to find her model.

Walking from room to room, Ellie was determined to grab the first person she found, despite how embarrassing such a request might sound. Sadly though, her search of the first floor was fruitless as no one was there. Strange. She listened carefully for any noise. A house this large there was sure to be an echo from somewhere, but it was so quiet she swore she could hear a pin drop at the opposite end of the house.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she made the journey to the second floor to see where everyone was hiding. She had forgotten how large this house really was until she had to look for someone, and she was halfway up the staircase when the gardener came through the front door.

“Fritz,” she began, wanting to ask him to pose but quickly changed her mind when she became dismayed by his grimy appearance. No. I need someone else, she decided. “Have you any idea where the staff is?”

“Kurt drove one of the maids to the doctor. She wasn’t feeling well, and I believe Anna said she was going to lie down.”

“Thank you.”

“Is there something I can do for you?” He carelessly wiped his brow and smeared a combination of dirt and sweat across the only spot on his face previously untouched by grime, making his appearance even less desirable to Ellie.

“No, I’ll be fine.” Fritz nodded at her and continued about his business. “I hope she’s alright,” she quietly whispered under her breath as she thought about Anna.

Ellie soon found herself walking to the staff wing of the house and straight to Anna’s room, and she was about to knock when a soft snore coming from inside stopped her. Having never been to Anna’s room before and unsure of what she might find, she pressed her hand against the door, hesitant about entering but curious nonetheless. It wasn’t like Anna to nap during the day, but then she remembered at breakfast Anna said she didn’t sleep well the night before.

Without further thought, she reached for the knob, turned it slowly, and quietly pushed the door slightly open. She knew she should have knocked and that she was severely violating Anna’s privacy, something she swore only last night she wouldn’t do. But when she peered around the door and saw Anna asleep on the bed, her heart raced. The woman who prided herself in being a perfectionist, never stopping to rest until the job was done, looked so serene now, so at peace with herself. This is it!

Quietly, she slipped her shoes off and excitedly ran to her bedroom to get some fresh paper and pencils. When she returned, she closed the door behind her and sat on the small chair opposite the bed, giving herself the perfect angle to draw Anna. For a moment, all she could do was watch and study…and admire. This was, without a doubt, the most angelic she had ever seen Anna. She looks so innocent…so fragile…so childlike, yet so…intense. Ellie’s mind was soon lost in thought and caught up in the moment when her hand began moving across the paper on its own, capturing this peaceful moment in Anna’s life.

Anna stirred mildly on occasion but for the most part remained in a deep sleep, never really changing from the position that grabbed Ellie’s attention. With her right arm tucked under her head, clasping hands with the other arm that was efficiently tucked under her left breast and a strand of hair fallen loosely across her cheek, Anna was a vision unlike any Ellie had ever seen. It was almost as if she was purposely trying to look this beautiful.

As she became more involved in the drawing, her mind slowly wandered back to the thoughts she housed last night of Anna and that other woman, how she envisioned them wrapped in each other’s arms, slowly dancing and becoming romantic with each other. As she continued to fantasize, she casually glanced over and noticed a glow about Anna’s appearance now that she didn’t see a minute ago. Curious, she wondered what Anna could be thinking about, what unconscious thoughts could bring this glow to her face. Could she be remembering how it felt to wake in the arms of that woman? To cuddle with her naked and exhausted? Is this how beautiful she looks after… Embarrassed and fearful of where her thoughts were leading her, she immediately shook the thought off, realizing that it was Anna’s business and not her own. No, she didn’t want to think about such things even though the image of Anna like that made her warm and…excited. Still, the harder she tried to suppress the images, the more diligently they wanted to emerge. Focus on your work, she forcefully reminded herself. Why are you thinking this? This is the same woman you’ve known for years. Nothing has changed.

Ellie’s hand continued drawing on its own as if it had created this portrait a thousand times before. Over the course of an hour she was completely drawn into her own world, sometimes thinking about Anna’s love life, sometimes just watching her sleep, but totally oblivious to the world outside the room. Before she knew it, she nearly had a complete drawing, one of her fastest and yet most detailed. Just a bit more shading, she thought as she gave it a quick glance over and applied the finishing touches. Yes, that’s it. She held the completed drawing up and admired it, finding it so jarringly accurate it could have been a snapshot.

As if mesmerized by the image, she couldn’t help but be in awe of the magnificent beauty that Anna was and, unable to control her emotions any longer, released a gasping sigh that caused Anna to stir further. When she realized Anna was slowly coming out of her deep sleep, she promptly gathered her tools and snuck out as quietly as she entered.

In the hall, she couldn’t help but glance at the drawing again. Her stomach tingled as she looked at it and she couldn’t stop the smile that covered her lips, but it wasn’t her admiration of her own work that caused this pleasure. It was the subject. Embarrassment quickly overcame her when she realized she had taken more care and pride in drawing Anna than anything else she recently attempted, and a nagging urgency inside her selfishly wanted this drawing where she could look at it again in private. This can’t be shown off with the others. With pursed lips, she analyzed her work, paying special attention to the detail in Anna’s face and tried to recall how she looked in the café. Yes, this one is for my eyes only.

Several days had passed and they resembled business as usual in the Schraeder household, minus some awkward moments here or there. Although Ellie behaved like her normal self, Anna noticed something different about her. For one thing, she was never seen without a pencil and paper in her hand. Drawing seemed to relax her in a way nothing in the past ever had. She also noticed Ellie smiled more and spent much more time alone in her bedroom. At first she thought her boss was sick, but whenever she would knock on Ellie’s door and ask if she needed help, a rustling noise inside always preceded Ellie’s same response, “I’m fine.” She also hadn’t received any more strange vibes about being discovered that day in the café. Anna Wechsler, you’re being ridiculous. If she were going to do something about it she would have done so by now, was what she told herself whenever the horrified thought popped into her head. Still, she made a mental note to be more careful in the future, and she was going to have to cease heading to the city on her days off, for a little while at least…just in case.

Today was the remaining staff’s day off, and her early morning breakfast preparations brought on a need for an upcoming trip to replenish groceries. Whenever Kurt had a day off, he would try to lighten Anna’s load by preparing meals in advance so all she had to do was heat up anything that needed to be served rather than have to cook and clean all day long. With the dinner party next week, she had dozens of recipes to try out, but no one had thought to buy groceries and there wasn’t a chance she could make a decent attempt at cooking a single thing on the menu they planned out without half the ingredients. Yes, she was going to have to make a special trip.

“Something smells wonderful.”

Ellie’s quiet emergence into the kitchen startled her and she nearly cut her finger as she was slicing fruit. “Thank you. I hope it tastes all right. I used the last of the flour and sugar and had to alter the recipe in accordance.”

“I’m sure it will be wonderful, Anna,” Ellie reassured as she poured herself some of the freshly brewed coffee and sat down. “It looks like it might rain any minute. How about we have breakfast inside this morning?”

We? Anna was surprised Ellie invited her to share breakfast again. In all the years she worked here, Ellie had always dined alone or with her husband, but this was the fourth time this week Ellie had asked her to share breakfast. Maybe she’s tired of eating alone, she discounted. One thing was certain though; since Ellie started drawing again, a new woman began to emerge, and she was beginning to like the person her boss was transforming into. “Inside it is.”

Though Anna’s back was turned away, she could feel Ellie’s eyes on her, watching her every move as she finished preparing their breakfast.

“Your hair looks very nice pinned up, Anna.”

Anna froze for a split second. She’s complimenting me on my hair? The braid she normally wore her hair in wasn’t an option if she had plans to be cooking today. Still, it wasn’t as if this was the first day she ever pinned her hair up. “Thank you,” she responded, unsure of Ellie’s motives for mentioning it.

“It shows off your neck. You have a very lovely neck. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Actually, yes. I have heard it before, from many women. She finished with the strawberries and poured herself a cup of coffee, joining Ellie at the table while the coffee cake finished baking. “No one recently. Thank you again,” she said with a smile, unable to mask her happiness at Ellie’s compliment.

While Ellie helped herself to some strawberries, Anna simply sat back and watched, trying her best to be casual about it as she sipped her coffee. Her eyes drifted here and there as she watched her companion¾ the wisps of hair falling from her forehead, the way her lips curved around the fruit as she ate, almost inviting it into her mouth, the juice glistening on her lips, brightening the beautiful shade of lipstick she had not worn before. A tingly warmth spread through her body as these thoughts caught her off guard, and she turned her glance to her meal. But when she happened to look up for a brief moment, Ellie surprised her again by holding eye contact with her for a few seconds and flashing the most disarming smile she had ever shown, not saying a single word the entire time. What’s going on here? Anna forced herself to look away when she felt herself begin to blush.

In a desperate attempt to suppress her embarrassment and temporarily remove herself from the situation, Anna moved to the oven and checked on the pastry. She’s acting strangely today. But then again, so are you. Her mind continued to dwell on her uneasiness and aroused reaction to watching Ellie, none of which made sense, as she brought the sweet rolls to the table and served up rather large portions, knowing exactly how voracious Ellie’s morning appetite was.

Ellie, on the other hand, didn’t seem out of phase with anything that had transpired. Rather, she talked about appointments she had planned for the day and arrangements she needed to make for the party that was approaching faster than she would have liked. With her husband returning home in a few days, all the preparations had to be completed before he arrived.

“If you make a list I can stop by the market and pick some things up,” Ellie said, continuing with the deep eye contact.

“I’ll keep it short. I’m not sure what meals Kurt had planned for the rest of the week so another trip to the market might be necessary.”

“Actually, I would like to see his menu. Some of the things he prepares aren’t exactly…well…” Ellie trailed off. She didn’t like speaking negatively of anyone, much less people she lived with, even if it was her duty to tell her employees if she was unhappy with something.

“I’m sorry,” Anna interrupted, confused about what Ellie found so hard to communicate. “Has he been cooking something you don’t like? I can speak to him about it.”

Ellie paused for a minute before answering, unsure if this was even worth mentioning. “Well, I’ve never been one to complain about anything. I must confess, though, that some of his meals could use some jazzing up. They’re rather bland. Perhaps you could give him some helpful suggestions.” She felt embarrassed to admit it, especially after all this time, but something had come over her lately, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, and it made her bolder, almost brazen.

He’s been her cook for four years and she’s only mentioning this now? Anna couldn’t figure out why Ellie wouldn’t tell her something like this before. True, she never spoke harshly to anyone, but if she was bothered by something she should have at least mentioned it. “I can speak with him tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Please make sure that when my husband returns he continues to cook without spices. Mr. Schraeder is very particular about his food and I don’t want him to go into shock at the change.”

Anna smiled and winked in a lighthearted way. “The Mrs. likes it jazzy, and the Commander likes it plain. I’ll relay the message.” When she heard the words said out loud she blushed, unsure exactly why, and she hoped that didn’t appear as flirtatious to Ellie as it did in her own head.

“Thank you.” Ellie rose from the table and attempted to take her plate to the sink only to have Anna beat her to it. “Can you bring the car around the front too, Anna? I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Anna cleaned up the kitchen and quickly jotted down a few items for Ellie to pick up at the market while making a mental note to herself to write down a more detailed list of herbs and spices for Kurt to purchase next time he picked up groceries. Most of them would have to be purchased on the black market since the stores mainly carried only the essentials, but she was confident that he knew his way around the city well enough to find whatever she put on the list and therefore didn’t hesitate to jot down whatever came to mind.

She heard Ellie making her way back down and hurried out to the garage to bring the car around. It was beginning to rain heavily, and if the dark sky and heavy winds were any indication, it would be like this for quite some time. Not a good day for driving. She would offer to accompany Ellie if not for the house rule the Commander issued and adamantly reinforced whenever he returned home: never leave the house unattended. There was no surprise he came up with this rule, considering the way the military took whatever they wanted, and an unoccupied home would surely fit into that category, regardless of who the previous occupants were. It was times like this she hated being associated with her people’s regime and their despicable behavior, but since she was doing all she could about that aspect, she tried not to let things out of her hands bother her.

Once inside the garage, she shook off the rain and wiped the excess water from her neck and arms. “God, Anna. You’re soaked,” she muttered in disgust. The distance from the house to the garage wasn’t that great, but far enough to have her clothes become saturated in the mad dash across the yard. Now she was going to have to place a towel on the seat as she drove the car around front so Ellie wouldn’t sit in a huge puddle. Looking around, she found piles of old rags, stacks of boxes, and an old bicycle she sometimes used, but no towel. She moved a small stack of boxes while searching for something to absorb the water left on the seat as she drove the car around and she came across a rather surprising discovery. A litter of kittens resided in the dark, cramped space she had opened up.

Stunned, she stood looking down at five sets of equally surprised eyes looking up at her and she was unsure of what to do. Though none attempted to get up and greet her, she could tell by their miniature size they were barely a couple weeks old and her heart melted at the sight. They’re so cute. Drawn to the orange one, a sharp contrast to the rest of the black and white bunch, she picked it up and was amazed it could easily fit in the palm of her hand.

The kitten squawked, nonchalantly demanding her attention, and she promptly gave him the attention he craved. “Where’s your momma?” she asked, rubbing behind his ears.

As the tree beside the garage began thrashing its branches against the roof whenever the wind howled, the others became fearful and began to whimper while they inched closer, deciding she could be trusted and hoped she could provide the protection they desperately wanted.

“Are you guys hungry?” She started unconsciously rubbing the orange kitten’s belly while she thought over the situation, and when he purred right in her hand in response to her touch, her heart nearly melted all over again. There wasn’t a chance they could stay out here very long, not with the nights still being as cold as they were, and for another, the last thing the Schraeder’s wanted were dozens of cats, which is exactly what would happen if these kittens stayed here and continued breeding.

Anna put her orange friend back with his siblings and moved the boxes back, concealing them from further intruders. You need to find them homes. Giving a quick unsuccessful look around for any sign of their mother, she decided the mother was either out looking for food or had abandoned them altogether. Strange. She couldn’t even tell how they had gotten into the garage since no windows were broken and the doors hardly ever remained opened. But then cats always managed to get into impossible places.

The distraction of the kittens caused her to forget about the towel she was looking for, and she carelessly plopped into the car and pulled it to the front of the house while concentrating carefully on the situation. You’re going to have to feed them and make sure they’re warm until you find homes for them. It was one more thing to add to her already long list of things to remember, raising her stress level further, but in this case she didn’t mind at all.

Ellie was waiting for her on the porch when she pulled the car around, grimacing and furrowing her brows, and she assumed her boss was angry for being kept waiting. Then it occurred to her that Ellie probably didn’t want to go driving on a day like this, making arrangements and doing some light shopping, and the mere thought of that made her grimace and furrow her own brows. When she passed off the keys to her boss though, she inadvertently stroked the side of Ellie’s hand, catching them both off guard, and the grimace and furrowed brows quickly dissipated from both their faces at the touch.

“Drive carefully,” Anna motioned, trying her best to sound unaffected by their contact.

Ellie only nodded in response until she got settled in the car. “Go inside and get out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold,” she said, grinning as she took the wheel and slowly pulled out.

Anna smiled at Ellie’s concern and watched as the older woman drove away. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something about the way Ellie showed an interest once more in her well being gave her another warm feeling about their relationship. It wasn’t like Ellie to show so much concern, and she certainly never made small talk before. Yes, something was definitely changing in the woman, and Anna liked it. She allowed her eyes to follow the car down the driveway, making sure Ellie was safely on her way, and just when she was about to turn and go inside, she distinctly saw the auburn haired woman turn her head and cast a fleeting glance before moving out of sight. A rush of warm feelings overcame her, and she couldn’t help but smile wider and wave goodbye before heading back into the house.

Hours later, Ellie rushed into the house in a huff. Despite accomplishing everything she set out to do, she had the most horrible afternoon. Having decided to venture outside the protected areas, she ran into hostility among several of the townsfolk. She also managed to rip her dress, though how she did it still remains a mystery. At more than one establishment this afternoon she had a strong feeling she was being severely overcharged, but since she always had the house servants do most of the shopping and was unaware of local prices she couldn’t be absolutely certain. To top it all off, on the way home the car began giving her trouble, leaving her to park it along the side of the road and walk home in the pouring rain.

“Anna!” she yelled as she leaned against the door trying to catch her breath. She was terrified of leaving the car unattended and exhausted from the long walk home, but there wasn’t a chance she could have driven it home in its current condition.

Anna came running around the corner, unsure what the emergency was, but given the way Ellie called out, she was sure it was something important since the woman was famous for keep her composure even under the most dire of circumstances. “What’s wrong? Oh my goodness, you’re soaked! What happened?”

“It’s been a bad day, I’m freezing, and the car broke down. We need to get it moved before someone steals it,” she explained, panic still breaking through her voice, no doubt from all the stress of the afternoon. Charles would have had a fit if he knew she left the car unattended.

Anna approached and placed a delicate hand on her shoulder. She had more experience in dealing with the public, having been the one to do most of the errands outside the house on any given day, and she was certainly more familiar when it came to determining car troubles. “Alright. Calm down. Tell me what happened?”

“It has a flat tire and I had to abandon it. It’s up the road beside the giant elm. Anna, we need to get it back here before someone steals it.”

“I think we should try to fix it. No one’s home to help us push it, and if we can fix it we can save ourselves a lot of trouble.”

“Do you know how to fix a flat tire?”

“Well, I’ve never actually done it myself, but I have seen it done. I’m almost certain we can fix it.” Anna quickly glanced at her clothing then turned around and began heading towards the stairs. “I’m going to change into something that won’t get ruined. I’ll be right down.”

Still surprised by Anna’s suggestion to fix the car, Ellie waited by the door and continued dripping. How was it that Anna worked for her all these years and she wasn’t aware the woman knew how to fix cars? She made a mental note to learn more about this woman who was becoming more enigmatic with every passing day.

When Anna emerged at the top of the stairs a few minutes later, Ellie’s jaw nearly dropped. The young woman donned a sleeveless shirt and trousers, and her hair was still pinned up atop of her head, revealing even more of her neckline than Ellie had been able to see earlier this morning with the very low collar this shirt had. There was no doubt in Ellie’s mind this entire selection of clothing was men’s wear, strongly reminiscent of the first time she saw Anna dressed this way at the café, and she looked very masculine now, yet ever so feminine with curves in places no man that she ever met had. She felt herself begin to blush as she enjoyed the lovely image descending before her and felt the need to turn away at the surprised reaction her body was having to the sight of Anna dressed this way.

“Shall we?” Anna asked, gesturing towards the door, completely unaware of Ellie’s appreciativeness.

Ellie found herself flustered and at a loss for words. “Yes, of course,” she finally muttered seconds later as Anna slipped an arm into her jacket and walked out the door.

The walk to the car had been a quiet one, mostly due to the pounding rain drowning out their attempted conversations. Ellie allowed her mind to wander and occasionally found herself lagging a step behind. Whenever she would return to the moment and catch a glimpse of Anna out of the corner of her eye, she always did a double take at the woman’s appearance. Anna’s fashion could conceivably be construed as manly, given the clothing she was wearing, but there was nothing masculine about this woman in the least. Although she wore trousers, they clung tightly to her curvaceous hips while the shirt, form fitting and covered by the jacket, suggested nothing but all-woman underneath it. It was an image unlike anything Ellie had ever seen from another woman, almost as powerful as the image she still recalled from time to time of Anna asleep.

Then, when they reached a large muddy puddle and Anna gallantly took her arm to guide her around the side, making sure not to let her fall, she found herself curiously wondering why Charles never treated her this well. True, he did buy her nice things and she was frequently told by other wives at their military functions that she was the envy of many women, being married to such a “fine man,” but his actions had always seemed more about how his outward appearance looked rather than for her comfort and she began to resent it now that she saw what simple honest chivalry was at the hands of her housekeeper.

As they approached the car, Anna closed her umbrella, took off her jacket, and went straight for the trunk. Ellie stood beside her and held her own umbrella over the young woman to shield her from the weather, but it was a futile attempt. Ignoring the cold rain pellets hitting her in the face, Anna took control of the situation, rooting around inside the trunk for a minute and moving objects haphazardly from side to side, obviously looking for something specific, before finally shouting, “Here you are!”

Ellie flashed a quizzical look that caused Anna to explain the importance of having a jack to lift the car and change the tire as she promptly demonstrated.

“See how easy this is?”

“How do you know how to do that?” Ellie asked. She watched as Anna’s long, slender fingers worked furiously to loosen the hardware, grunting on occasion at the tighter pieces before pulling the tire off. She was amazed at the physical strength this woman possessed.

“My father taught me when I was younger. We used to go to the lake for family outings on Sundays when I was a child. One day we got a flat tire on the way home. By brother and sister decided to play in the field while my mother watched them, and my father suggested I come learn something new. He was like that, always making sure I knew how to do things so I wouldn’t have to be dependent upon someone else. I think he worried about me a lot.”

“He sounds like a nice man.”

“He was.”

Ellie detected a hint of sorrow in Anna’s voice just then and opted to question her about it. She recalled when the background checks on the staff were made that Anna’s family had been searching for her for quite some time, but she never pushed the issue. “Do you miss him, being so far from home?”

“He died,” Anna said, devoid of any further emotion. She took a moment to wipe away a strand of wet hair that had fallen into her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Ellie studied Anna’s expression for a few seconds and it became apparent by the suddenly cold expression on her face that Anna was attempting to block her emotions.

“Can you hand me those caps?” Anna asked, gesturing to the pile of hardware on the ground.

It was clear to Ellie that this topic was too personal. For now, she would allow Anna to change the subject, and when Anna was ready to discuss it again she would be more than happy to listen.

“There we go…good as new,” Anna exclaimed, wiping the grime off her hands with a rag she retrieved from her back pocket. She stood and offered Ellie a clean hand and grabbed her jacket from the trunk as she returned the carjack to its rightful place. “I’m soaked. I think I should just walk home.”

“Nonsense,” Ellie waved her hand. There wasn’t a chance she was going to let this woman walk home, alone, in the pouring rain. “I’m just as wet as you are.” She reached her arm out and opened the door for Anna, bringing a smile back to her face that caused Ellie to smile in return.

When they returned to the house, Ellie carefully pulled the car into the garage and slammed on the brakes as Anna gasped. One of the kittens had made its way out of the shelter she built and decided to do some investigating of the surrounding area. Following Anna’s gaze across the room, Ellie was confused about the cause of Anna's surprise until she saw the tiny kitten snooping around. When she looked at Anna again, the young woman appeared distressed. “A friend of yours?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention this earlier. There’s a litter of them behind those boxes. I found them this morning.”

It was apparent from her tone that Anna was nervous about the kittens living in the garage and even more nervous at Ellie’s reaction, but when Ellie simply smiled and didn’t show any opposition whatsoever to their presence, Anna decided to show off the bunch.

She scooped up the wanderer and put him back with the others. The canopy she made for them from a bath towel had fallen apart, probably when one of them decided to jump on it, and now it was nothing more than a blanket for the remaining kittens that were fast asleep. A small ceramic dish with a double compartment she also filled with food and water was empty and she immediately knew it had gone over well with the gang.

“I don’t know where their mother is, but I’m going to find homes for them.”

The women hunched over and peered at the kitties that were slowly coming out of their sleep, probably aware of being on display as Ellie continued watching and making cooing noises. Finally, the extroverted orange kitten stood up and wobbled its way to Anna, persistently butting its head against her foot to get her attention. When she scooped him up and held her close to her face, the little fellow began licking her cheek.

As Anna glowed at the attention her furry friend paid her, Ellie admitted to herself she looked absolutely gorgeous standing there, dripping wet while this kitten licked the tiny droplets off her face in adoration. She hadn’t seen the woman look so radiant since that afternoon she caught Anna napping, and it was plainly noticeable that Anna was equally as fond of the kitten. When Anna smiled at the cat’s actions, Ellie felt a flood of warmth overcome her that caused her to begin giggling. Then, without her understanding exactly why, when Anna looked into her eyes and giggled in return, she broke down in a heartfelt belly laugh. Suddenly, the painful numbness and purposeful withdrawal that had become her life over the years began to slowly disappear. For the first time in too many years, she felt alive again. It was carefree and honest, and although it had been so long, she felt wonderful again laughing now at something so silly.

“Do you want to hold him?” Anna offered.

“I’m not sure he’s ready to leave you yet. He seems quite intent on smothering you with kisses.”

Anna briefly closed her eyes as the orange kitten feverishly licked her chin and giggled again at the sensation before passing him off. “This one’s the friendliest.”

She watched Ellie interact with the kitten, seemingly enjoying the paramount attention it gave her, and without warning a vivid memory of Rachel came rushing back to her mind.

Anna fondly recalled the day she first saw Rachel’s new apartment. Rachel had been coming into the bakery for weeks prior, and they had gone to dinner several times, so when Rachel called the bakery that morning and invited her over after work she happily accepted. And then, when she knocked on the door, Rachel quickly opened it and grabbed her arm, eagerly pulling her in.

“A surprise, Anna. I’ve got a surprise,” she proclaimed before disappearing into the other room, only to return seconds later with a small orange kitten, barely fitting in her hands. “I think he was abandoned. I’ve decided to keep him.”

Anna recalled the excitement on Rachel’s face at that exact moment and, having never seen anything so beautiful in all her life, she couldn’t help but smile. She took the offered kitten and held onto it while Rachel cleared a space for them to play with it on the floor among the stacks of boxes spread across the room. When she joined Rachel on the floor, she held the tiny bundle of fur close to her face and he squawked a soft cry.

“He likes you a lot.”

Anna smiled as she continued to rub noses with the tiny fur ball.

“I like you a lot too.”

When she looked over at Rachel again, she saw a sparkle in the woman’s eyes that she hadn’t seen before, and she knew at that moment that her own amorous feelings for Rachel were being returned.

“How much?” Anna asked, her voice cracking in anticipation.

Without hesitation, Rachel slowly leaned in closer and Anna could feel the other woman’s breath on her lips as she whispered, “I’ll show you,” before their lips softly touched and Anna experienced her first kiss with Rachel. Her first kiss with anyone.

The kitten squawked again and her attention was brought back to the present.

“So they can stay until I find them homes?”

“I don’t see why not,” Ellie said, handling the cat back to her. “They seem harmless enough.” And I love watching you smile when you play with them, she thought.

She reached over to stroke the kitten’s head a final time and snuck in a candid glance or two at Anna. Having hardly ever been this close to the woman in the past, curiosity was indeed getting the better of her, and she now ascertained that Anna's features were severely understated. Only at this close range did Ellie see how beautiful Anna truly was. Her soft blue eyes now became icy, the bluest she’s ever seen. Her skin, unblemished from a distance, appeared soft and creamy up close, and her full lips almost called to Ellie, inviting her to brush against them with her own. She was beginning to become lost in her thoughts again when she suddenly sneezed.

“We should get out of these wet clothes,” Anna suggested.

Ellie agreed and watched as Anna fixed the canopy and rearranged the boxes to prevent anymore straying from happening, at least for a little while, and then they both carried the packages Ellie acquired during the day into the house.

Declining the offer of an early dinner, Ellie retired to her bedroom with plans to grab a quick bite later in the evening. The events of the day had taken quite a bit out of her, leaving her tired and a little achy. She really hoped she wasn’t getting sick so close to the party.

Anna came down early again the next morning after the most wonderful sleep she had in weeks. The first thing on her agenda was to have a nice, calm discussion with Kurt about spicing up Ellie’s food, but to keep it in check when the Commander came home. The last thing she needed this week was him on her case about something. Ordinarily, he was a nice man, but when he got angry he had a vicious temper unlike anything she had ever seen before.

She made her way into the kitchen only half expecting Ellie to be awake. It was hard to predict her behavior the last couple of weeks so it was anyone’s guess whether or not she would be outside this morning. A faint smell of bacon filled the air, and as she walked into the kitchen the first thing her eyes landed on was a dish on the counter, very similar to the one she used to feed the kittens. The Schraeder’s had a full set with that particular pattern on it, but it seemed somewhat odd to see a lone double sided dish sitting there on the counter like that.

“Good morning, Kurt,” she said, cautiously walking over to examine it without diverting attention to herself. It looks like the same one. She heard him rattling on about something in the background but didn’t really pay too much attention as she redirected her attention to the veranda to look for Ellie.

“Is she up yet?”

“Haven’t seen her yet.”

Anna wondered if the chills Ellie complained about yesterday had grown into something more since she was still in bed now after days of waking early to pursue her newfound love of drawing. No doubt the bacon smell would filter up there and bring her down before long so she might as well take advantage of the time to advise Kurt on the menu changes. She reached into her pocket and withdrew a list of herbs and spices she wanted him to get.

“Next time you get food I want you to get everything on this list. Mrs. Schraeder wants you to season up her food a little. Be sure to continue keeping it toned down for the Commander though.”

Kurt took the list and stuffed it into his pocket without even looking at it. It was one thing to suggest changing the menu, but telling him how to cook was insulting¾ at least in his opinion.

“Is there a problem?”

“No. I’m concentrating on breakfast.”

You’re concentrating on frying eggs and bacon? The mere idea of having to concentrate on something that practically cooked itself was absurd, but Kurt took his job very seriously so she wasn’t going to give him a hard time about it now. She moved across the room to start making the coffee when her attention was brought to the bowl again and it wouldn’t stop bothering her. She had to know if it was the same bowl.

“Where did this come from?” she asked, holding up the ceramic dish.

“The garage.”

He must have found them. Last night she was careful to place the bowl behind the stack of boxes before she went to bed, securing the stack tightly so the kittens couldn’t escape again, and she was sure she made it impossible to see them from any angle in the garage unless the boxes were deliberately moved. She was about to refill the bowl with milk now when he grabbed her wrist.

“Anna, don’t bother. I’ve taken care of it.”

His piercing tone sent a streak of fear jolting through her body and she looked him directly in the eye. “What do you mean you took care of it?”

An eerie silence befell the room except for the sound of frying food and grease splattering on the stove and she began to panic. Despite the many years gone by, the first thing her mind flashed on was her father’s last statement before she left. ‘Our government is taking care of us,’ he said, and she was painfully aware of how that ended. Kurt was using the same hateful tone now and it frightened her.

“They breed like rats, Anna,” he explained before letting go of her hand and returning to the stove, continuing about his business as if nothing had happened.

As the thoughts of terror built up inside her, she raced outside and into the garage to check on the kittens. When she got inside, the stacked boxes were as she left them and she felt at ease again, letting out a sigh of relief. You panic so easily, Anna. But when she moved the moved the stack, the curious eyes that first greeted her yesterday were gone. In fact, there was no evidence they had ever been there. The rags she made into a bed and the towel she used to create a canopy for them were gone too. Looking around, she tried to figure out where he could have moved them, but when her eyes stopped at a trashcan in the corner she felt sick. He couldn’t have. Something inside her knew what happened but she wasn’t willing to admit it. Still, she had to check.

Every step she made toward the can took effort and her body froze in trepidation when she reached it, but she forced her hand down on the lid and removed it slowly. Tears built up in her eyes as she braced herself for whatever horror might be inside, and as much as she tried to hold them back, when she peered into the depth of the can and saw their tiny bodies lying lifeless on the bottom, she couldn’t hold them back any longer.

“No,” she cried in disbelief.

Unable to contain them any longer, her tears trickled slowly down her cheeks, and as she took their bodies out, lining them up one by one on the trunk of the car, numbness spread through her veins. When she pulled the orange kitten out, the one she liked most, and remembered his resounding purring as she stroked his belly or behind his ears, the pain was too much to bear and she broke down in violent sobs. Finally, when she couldn’t deal with the situation any longer, she ran into the yard by a giant oak tree and eventually fell to the ground on her hands and knees.

Ellie woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs after a rough night with very little sleep. Normally the aroma would have been a delight to wake up to, but today it was nauseating. She opened her nightstand drawer, as she did every morning since putting Anna’s portrait in there, and took a quick glance at the image, hoping it would miraculously revitalize her senses before she quickly dressed and headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Kurt was busy in the kitchen and informed her in his usual monotonous tone, without turning to even acknowledge her presence no less, that breakfast would be ready shortly. She sensed hostility from him this morning but shrugged it off as her own fuzzy headedness. Get your coffee and you’ll feel better. The intense sunlight shining brightly through the windows announced the day was going to be much better than yesterday, and it was too tempting to pass up, so she took a few minutes to go outside and pick some flowers, perhaps for an arrangement in her bedroom.

Walking around the garden, she become aware of all the hard work Fritz had been doing lately making sure the grounds looked beautiful. She didn’t remember him planting this many flowers last spring, and now the garden screamed in vibrancy with all the bright colors offset by the stone house. Oh, these are perfect! The collection of orange daylilies she gathered would certainly liven her bedroom up. She was deeply involved in picking them, choosing only the most vivacious blooms for her arrangement, when out of the corner of her eye she noticed Anna running out of the garage.

For a moment Ellie only stood and watched, confused. At first she thought Anna was sick because she used the giant oak to keep her balance and then wrapped her arms around her stomach only a few seconds later. When she paced the ground and began erratically shaking her head it became apparent that something was wrong.

Ellie had never seen Anna so upset before. In all their years spent together, Anna had always managed to keep to herself, never showing her emotions to anyone. That’s part of what Ellie liked about her; she was efficient and never let her personal life interfere with her work. But in the last two weeks she had come to see another side of Anna, a side she doubted Anna would ever expose willingly. She had seen Anna nervous to the point of nearly breaking down, and she had also witnessed the young woman in her most vulnerable state: asleep. If Anna ever discovered that drawing composed without her knowledge, she might become angry and quit her job on the spot. No, she must never find out. Suddenly, Anna collapsed to the ground and landed on her knees, and when Ellie saw her, she dropped her flowers and ran across the yard. As she neared, her thoughts about respect and privacy raced through her mind, causing her more uncertainty, and she stopped short of approaching by several feet.

Anna was on her hands and knees shaking hysterically and pounding the ground with her fist. Ellie wanted to go up to her and ask what was wrong but feared Anna might not want company right now. Imagining herself in Anna’s shoes, would she want someone to approach her in this condition? No, she came outside to be alone. She wanted to respect Anna’s privacy, but she also felt drawn to the young woman and the urge to ease her pain was overwhelming. Something inside her needed to protect Anna, and as a deep sense of concern prevailed over her at the sight of the young woman in this much distress, she wanted nothing more than to shield Anna from any further agony she was obviously going through. Suppressing her inner voice that warned her to keep her distance, she gave in to her heart and came to the only decision that made sense.

As she slowly closed the distance between them, she could hear Anna speaking to herself through whimpers. Her soft voice was strained and broken, but Ellie was able to make out enough to deduce that Anna’s distress was related to something other than the cats.

“I’m so sorry…I should have tried harder to save you…”

Ellie maintained her even pace and approached, slowing only as Anna began to cry harder and gasp for breath. She knew the last thing the young woman wanted now was to have someone see her like this, defenseless and weak, and she didn’t want to embarrass Anna either, but her own emotions were beginning to go into an upheaval just watching this painful moment.

“I can’t do this anymore…I’m so sorry…”

Ellie softly called Anna’s name, unsure if she would welcome the intrusion or not. Startled, Anna quickly stood and wiped her eyes before turning, and immediately Ellie knew she didn’t belong here. After a few seconds of quiet, Anna tried to explain her hysteria but became upset all over again, burying her face in her hands in frustration. Without further thought, Ellie reached over and embraced Anna, engulfing her body and silently making it clear with a firm hold on her that she could be trusted. “It’s alright. Whatever it is, let it out,” she whispered.

Although Anna towered over her and had considerably more physical strength, Ellie was well aware of Anna’s fragility as she held the woman in her arms now. She stroked Anna’s head, encouraging her to calm down, and amid the sporadic whimpers she reassured Anna that everything would be all right, knowing that whatever the cause of her distress, Anna would tell her when she was able, and they would work it out together.

“It’s the kittens. They’re dead,” Anna finally whispered.

Ellie was speechless. Knowing how passionately Anna felt about the kittens, she tightened their embrace while Anna continued telling of the horror she found in the garage.

“All of them. Kurt thought it best to put an end to it before they began breeding, but I wouldn’t have let it get to that point. I told you yesterday I was going to find homes for them.”

“I’m so sorry, Anna,” was all she could say. Her heart went out to the woman, knowing how much she adored the kittens.

From the corner of her eye, Ellie noticed Kurt watching them from the deck and immediately pulled away from the embrace. She wasn’t ashamed for comforting Anna like this, but she did feel a sense of unease with the man watching them, almost scrutinizing this private moment between them. She tilted Anna’s head down and looked up into her eyes, recognizing those same icy blue eyes that hid behind a well of tears now. “Go upstairs and clean up. I’ll be in soon, and we can talk then.”

Anna nodded and walked away looking defeated, unable to even glance in the direction of the man that caused her this pain, though Ellie wasn’t sure she even knew he was watching in the first place.

Ellie gave the man one of her more stern looks before turning away and wiping her own eyes as she quickly recomposed herself and headed into the garage. Given Anna's reaction, there was no telling what she would find in there, but she was certain it wouldn’t be good. Still, as horrible as it appeared, this misfortune turned something bad into something good, giving her a small amount of contentment caused by finally being needed by someone.

She gathered some tools from the garage, picked a nice location in the yard, and began digging. She didn’t remember a time in her life when she had to do physical labor, yet given the reaction Anna had about the cats, she didn’t think there was another option. Anger began to fill her veins as she prepared the hole beside the giant oak tree. Damn that Kurt. She was going to have a serious talk with the man for bringing such violence into her home. There was no excuse for what he did, and it wasn’t his decision to make.

As she placed the cats in the ground one at a time, she couldn’t understand how anyone could commit such a horrendous act, taking an innocent life, animal or not. Once, when she had first married Charles, he told her that he had killed a man with his bare hands while in battle and expressed a deep sadness when he discussed it. She knew he was out of immediate danger now, being an officer and not on the front lines any longer, but she heard the rumors and it sickened her to think they were true. She asked him about it once, before they moved to France, but all he had to say was that it wasn’t her business and then quickly changed the subject.

Things were different with Anna though. She felt they could talk openly and honestly. She also wanted to be a source of comfort for the young woman, and as much as she felt the need to protect her, she wanted Anna to know she would be there to listen to anything she had to say without judging her. Oddly, she was beginning to feel a stronger connection with Anna than with her husband. It wasn’t maternal though. No, she had a different bond with this woman. It pleased her to know that Anna was slowly letting her guard down, beginning to trust her and show a side of her she never displayed before, and in a way, Ellie was slowly being released from her own personal anguish.

Shortly after Ellie finished burying the kittens she had a discussion with Kurt about exactly what his job entailed and whom he took orders from so they could avoid this from happening in the future. She was furious with the man wanted to fire him on the spot, but since she never recalled him doing anything so vicious in the past she decided a stern warning was better. This time. It was at that point that he boldly informed her of the disturbing fact that since her husband hired him, only Mr. Schraeder was able to terminate his position in their household. Perceiving this as a threat to her authority, their discussion quickly turned one-sided as she warned him that not only would this behavior not be tolerated but that any wavering in his duties would indeed lead to his termination regardless of who hired him. Unfortunately though, Ellie knew he was right. Charles would never allow her to carry out important household decisions without his direct authority, but she refused to let this man dictate to her just how insignificant her role in the house really was. She got enough of that from her husband over the years and wouldn’t tolerate it coming from the hired help as well.

When she was finished reprimanding the man she stood waiting for his response, but all she got in return was a blatant stare, almost as if he were trying to look right through her. He normally carried a blank expression¾ pretending he didn’t understand something usually got him out of doing more work than he wanted to do, but at this particular moment it was a different look. She could see hatred in his eyes as they darkened over and concluded it to be nothing more than disgust toward her.

She raised her voice an octave and repeated her final question with a bit more authority than she ever remembered using. “Do you understand that I am in charge of this house while my husband is away and that my orders are final?”

Kurt nodded and muttered a “yes” before returning to clean the kitchen area. Turning his back to her was his way of getting the last word in, and since she didn’t care to get into another argument at this time she simply let it go and headed upstairs to see check on Anna. Before she left the kitchen though, she stopped in the doorway without turning around and, just to make her influence known, ordered him to move all the boxes Anna packs up later into the cellar. He gave no response but she knew he heard her, and only when he turned the water on and began furiously washing dishes did she leave the room, feeling a little smug for standing up to the man.

The short walk up the stairs left her feeling winded and light headed. For the last few days she suspected she was coming down with a cold, and she was sure being caught out in the rain didn’t help matters. She even considered taking some time to lay down after speaking with Anna, but there were still a few details to finalize still before her husband came home so a long nap was out of the question.

When she approached Anna's bedroom, the door was slightly ajar and she quietly peeked through the tiny opening, leaving her completely caught off guard by what she saw inside. Or more so what she felt when she saw Anna.

Anna was standing before her dresser looking at a photo. From this distance, and because Anna's body partially shielded her view, Ellie couldn’t see much of the picture, only that it was a woman. As she secretly watched from the door crack, Anna remained deep in thought and Ellie could somehow sense this person meant very much to Anna. Perhaps it was her mother, or a sister. She wasn’t sure. She continued watching the young woman for a couple of minutes, studying her motions and getting no hint of distress from her breathing, and she believed Anna had regained her composure and returned to her normal self. But then Anna was never one to freely express her emotions unless the situation was extreme, so there was no telling what state her mind would be in, only that she appeared to be calmer. She studied Anna a minute longer to make absolutely sure before she knocked but soon began getting a different feeling. Although the protection that she was so willing to offer Anna only minutes earlier didn’t appear to be needed, she sense Anna was in need of something else now, and she strongly wanted to be the one who provided it.

Ellie softly knocked on the door and Anna jumped, oblivious that anyone was even watching her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine,” Anna said after turning, nervously hiding the photo back in the dresser. “I was just taking a trip down memory lane.”

Ellie slowly approached. She wished Anna elaborated, wanting to hear anything she was willing to divulge about her life but, sadly, Anna left it at that.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks. I really don’t know what came over me.” It was a lie, but she couldn’t bring herself to open up just yet.

Ellie raised her hand to refute. “There’s no need to explain, Anna. It was a stressful situation.”

“Even so, I should have handled it better. My emotions sometimes get the better of me,” she explained.

Ellie nodded. “Well you can rest assured it won’t happen again.” After watching first hand the effect it had on the young woman, she would see to it that Anna wouldn’t have to go through anything like that again.

As Anna stood silent for a moment, possibly unsure how to respond, Ellie watch her expression change and become somewhat distant, sensing there was obviously something else on the woman’s mind.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

Anna jerked as she came back to herself. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “I guess I was bothered by it all a bit more than I thought.”

But it was more than that. Since Ellie first began opening herself up to her, showing her a side previously unseen, she had noticed those same feelings she had in the early stages of her relationship with Rachel making themselves known to her again with Ellie.

Ellie walked over and placed a comforting hand on Anna's shoulder, discovering how unnerved she still was by her tensed muscles. “I want you to know, Anna, that if you ever wanted to talk to me about anything, I’m willing to listen. I hope you believe me when I say you can trust me.”

Anna nodded. “Thank you.” For a brief instance, Ellie's warm smile penetrated straight through her wall and put her completely at ease before she realized what the woman had managed to do and Anna quickly built up her barrier once more.

“I’m going to lay down for a bit,” Ellie added. “Do wake me if you decide you want to talk.”

As Ellie turned and left, Anna's eyes followed her out the door with a look that lingered perhaps longer than it should have. Anna doubted Ellie had any idea about the dark world she lived in for so many years. She was touched by Ellie's kindness now, but in a way it infuriated her. Ellie and her perfect life could never know the pain Anna lived with on a daily basis, and with every kind gesture the older woman made toward her a new memory of Rachel resurfaced, causing more pain and strife. Lately, it seemed she desperately wanted to invite Ellie into her world, to share with her everything she was, but that part of her that protected her heart from pain refused to let go. She could never…would never allow herself to be that vulnerable again.

Hours later Anna had been so involved in packing up the sitting room that she completely lost track of time. The room had gotten considerably darker and the sun was nearly about to set. For the most part, the boxed items were packed and ready to be moved, minus a few last minute items she could move to the cellar herself after Kurt moved the heavier things down.

She looked at her watch and noticed it was well past dinner time, wondering why Kurt hadn’t informed her that the food was ready and just as interested in knowing why Ellie hadn’t woken from her nap yet. It wasn’t like her to sleep so long in the afternoon, especially since she had recently rediscovered her love of art and had spent practically every waking moment engaging in some activity that produced a drawing of some sort. Curious, she went in search of both answers.

An investigation of the first floor failed to reveal Kurt’s whereabouts and she assumed he had left the grounds. Just as well, she thought. She really wasn’t in the mood to deal with him so soon.

“Ellie?” Anna knocked on her bedroom door and waited for the woman to answer, but when she didn’t Anna slowly opened the door and peer around it, unsure if Ellie was even in the room. What she found made her gasp in horror.

Ellie was lying in bed, sweating, and breathing heavily.

“Oh, my God, you look horrible!”

Anna rushed to the bed and placed her hand on Ellie's forehead like her mother used to do with her when she looked this bad. “You have a fever.”

Her instincts took over and she went into the bathroom, prepared a bowl of cold water, and soaked a rag before stripping the bed of the warmer blankets. She had never taken care of anyone who was sick before, and she had only gotten sick a few times in her life so she could only hope she was doing the right thing now. When she had Ellie slightly propped up on some pillows, she retrieved the bowl of water from the bathroom and placed the cool rag on her boss’s forehead to draw out the heat.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?”

“I thought it would wear off. I’ve been feeling sick the last few days, but this is the worst it’s been,” Ellie barely managed to say.

“Well, don’t worry. I’m not leaving until we get you on your feet again,” Anna said.

Within seconds of placing the cool rag on Ellie's forehead it became so warm that she had to dip it back into the bowl to cool it.

Ellie was so exhausted that she fell asleep within minutes of Anna's arrival as the young woman continued taking care of her. Under normal circumstances she would have left the room and returned when her boss had woken again, but these weren’t normal circumstances. Something inside her wanted to remain by Ellie's side. She wanted to care for the woman in more than a dutiful way.

Tenderly stroking Ellie's cheek, she brushed damp strands of auburn hair away from her face. Although Ellie was under the weather and not looking her best, Anna still thought she was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. For a moment she allowed her eyes to take in the full beauty of this marvel before her, something she found herself doing quite a bit of lately, but there was more to it than that now.

She brought Ellie's hand up to her lips and kissed it softly, remembering the hug that embraced her so tightly in the yard only a few hours ago. She felt safe at a time when she was exposed to the darkness of her world. Who would have thought someone so petite could leave her feeling so protected with just a simple hug? But it was more than a hug. It was mystifying the way Ellie seemed to understand her breakdown when she didn’t even understand herself…how Ellie seemed to be reawakening parts of her that had been dead for so long. She had always talked to Ellie but, until recently, had always failed to connect with her. This new connection brought on by Ellie's unfolding of herself was not only a discovery of Ellie, but of herself as well.

The minutes quickly dragged into hours and Anna occupied herself by talking, hoping Ellie would somehow be comforted by the sound of a voice nearby. Although she remained asleep the entire time, Anna never left her side. At first she talked about random things- the spring flowers bursting into bloom, a book she recently read, and what she planned to do in town on her day off today. That last point became unlikely since she didn’t want to leave Ellie alone in this condition. And then, as if some entity took her over, she opened up and began talking about Rachel. Perhaps it was because she knew she wouldn’t be heard, but it gave her the strength she needed in telling someone else close to her the secret she kept unspoken for years.

“I was in love once.”

She paused at the stinging words, this being the first time she had said them aloud. They sounded confessing, yet at the same time they also felt healing so she continued with her story.

“It was a long time ago. We met at my father’s bakery. At first it was just a friendship. We spent hours walking, and talking, and laughing. I never had a friend like that before. This continued for weeks, each day growing more intimate. We were closer than sisters. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about her at least a dozen times. One day she invited me her apartment. She had just brought home a new kitten and we played with him on the floor for a while. And then we kissed. It was the first time I was ever kissed in my life. But it didn’t end there. We made love that night, Ellie. I know you can’t hear me, and I don’t know why but it’s comforting to me that you know. I fell in love with another woman. But then something happened. She was taken away on my birthday. That’s why I was so upset earlier. The kittens reminded me of her. I felt like it was all coming back to haunt me. I never did have a chance to say goodbye. I carried those memories…those feelings…all these years. And it all came rushing back to me in that instant.”

She lowered her eyes to Ellie, who looked so at peace right now, and Anna wondered what she could be dreaming about. She studied Ellie's features, her beautiful lips and strong jaw, slowly tracing an outline of them with a delicate finger. You’re so beautiful.

She leaned in and was only a breath away from Ellie's lips when the phone suddenly ringing diverted her attention and she rushed downstairs to answer it.

“We need to talk,” the voice at the other end stated.

“This isn’t a good time,” Anna replied. There wasn’t a chance she would make another trip into the city while Ellie was laid up in bed with a fever.

“Tomorrow morning,” the man said, and the line suddenly went dead.

During the early morning hours, Ellie's fever had broken but Anna concern prompted a visit by the doctor. She had stayed by Ellie's side the entire night and was exhausted but painfully aware that her day was only just beginning. In addition to her ordinary duties, she had to squeeze in a trip to the city, which was something she knew would be difficult with such short notice. She was sipping the last of her coffee when she heard the doctor return downstairs and went to the other room to greet him.

“She’ll be fine,” he said when he saw the concern written all over her face. “You did the right thing staying with her all night. There’s no telling what harm might have happen to the baby had her fever gotten worse.”

“Baby?”

“Yes, but everything’s fine. It’s just a cold,” he added as he put his jacket on. “Call me again if her condition worsens.” He turned and left, leaving Anna in shock at the news.

After she had managed to compose herself, she spoke with Ellie and informed her she was heading to the city to run errands. Oddly, Ellie hadn’t mentioned anything to her about the baby. Either she just found out and was in shock herself or she didn’t trust Anna enough. Anna wasn’t quite sure but she suspected Ellie would probably tell her when the time was right.

A short while later when she arrived at the café she frequented, she went around to the back entrance and snuck in the door leading to the storeroom. As she did every time she had information or was requested to come, she would wait for her acquaintance alone in the dark.

“It’s about time,” a man’s voice said from a distance. “I didn’t think you would come.”

“I always do,” Anna replied.

“Do you have it?”

Anna reached into her pocket and pulled out a paper and handed it to the man. On it were a long list of names, some more familiar to the man than others, but all were important.

“I had to go to a lot of trouble to get this list,” she said. “I was nearly discovered by my boss.”

“But you were not found out, correct?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then all is well.”

“What comes next?” she asked.

“We’ll be sending in a few of our men to survey the situation. You won’t recognize them. They’ll blend in with the other guests, but if they decide the outcome outweighs the risk, one of them will assist you out minutes before it happens. Stay visible.”

Minutes? Her first thought was of Ellie and how that might not be enough time to get to her to safety if something was to happen at the party. There was absolutely no way she would let any harm come to the woman.

“Unacceptable,” she informed him.

Shocked and annoyed, he stepped from the shadows and approached her.

“I don’t think you realize the potential of this scenario, Anna. It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“Listen to me, Michael,” she said, taking hold of his arm with a firm grip and giving him a warning she meant with every ounce of her being. “I’ve done a lot for you over the years. I’ve given you quite a bit of information, most of which has come at a great risk to my safety. I’m telling you, if any of your men harm anyone in the house tomorrow night, Nazi soldiers on your ass hunting you down will be the least of your problems. Find another way to do what you need to do, but no one in that house gets hurt. Understood?”

“Why the hostility, Anna?” he asked. He had known Anna a long time and had never seen her so angry before. “What are you protecting?”

Protecting? Was that what she was doing?

Caught off guard in one revealing moment, she realized that no matter how hard she tried, her feelings for Ellie were becoming more intense with every passing day. Somehow, through all her defensive walls, Ellie had found a way into her heart.

Feeling very incensed and threatened, she threw his arm away in disgust and left without answering, returning for home. When she first arrived in France several years back he had taken her in and offered her a job when they were so hard to come by, and she had done an outstanding job, offering information whenever she could. But when the Schraeder’s took over the house, a flood of new information Commander Schraeder had among his various papers and documents hidden in the cellar kept her occupied and helped her avenge past actions gone unpunished. She only hoped Michael valued her enough now to respect her only request of him in all these years. If anything happens to Ellie…she didn’t even want to finish the thought.

Anna moved around the room attending to the guests. In all the years she had worked for the Schraeder’s this was the first formal party they had, and she realized this was quite the opportunity for her to be in a room with so many important government delegates. So many recognizable faces...the impact of a single blast in the right location could certainly do massive damage and really help the resistance, but she really hoped Michael had listened to her. She took a moment to survey the room, noting the abundant security present, and wondered which, if any, were working with him. Hopefully they would realize that perhaps this opportunity was too risky and the evening would progress smoothly and uneventful.

And then there was Ellie. Her feelings for the woman had certainly changed recently. While once she thought nothing of her boss, now she felt…She wasn’t sure she could even describe it. She knew that with every warm feeling Ellie gave her there was a conflicting hurt that followed. Perhaps it was the way she refused to indulge in the tenderness Ellie offered, guarding her heart from another pain she didn’t want to face. Regardless, she just knew that jeopardizing Ellie's well being was not an option. She would have to remain by her side constantly this evening on the off chance Michael’s people decided to forge ahead with their plans.

“There you are,” Mr. Schraeder said as he approached. “Please inform my wife our guests are arriving and her presence is requested.”

“Of course,” she replied.

Obediently she made her way past the early arrivals and headed upstairs to see what was holding up Ellie.

But when she knocked on Ellie's bedroom door and saw the woman standing before the mirror putting on the finishing touches, her heart nearly stopped beating.

Ellie was wearing a cerulean blue gown, sure to bring out the vibrant blue of her eyes, and her hair had been pulled back and fashioned in such a way that revealed her beautiful neckline. The strand of pearls her husband gave her, an early birthday gift, was indeed lovely but paled in comparison to the person wearing it. She was the most beautiful woman Anna had ever seen!

“What do you think?” Ellie asked, smoothing out her dress.

“You look…” Stunning. Absolutely the most exquisite woman I’ve laid eyes on. “…Beautiful.” She couldn’t find the words to elaborate. She only hoped her attraction wasn’t so obvious and written all over her face.

Since speaking with Michael, she had given quite a bit of thought about her feeling towards Ellie and came to believe that as long as she could keep her feelings contained then nothing bad would happen. Somehow she realized she had fallen in love without realizing it had happened, but that the love she felt for Ellie could never be returned since the woman was happily married and expecting a child. She would never want to mess that up for Ellie, to be needed by her the way she needed Rachel all these years. She couldn’t let that happen, knowing that she could be the cause of Ellie's hurt the way she had been hurt.

Ellie flashed a wide smile in appreciation. It had been so long since anyone had told her she looked beautiful, and the words coming from Anna now made them more special. She knew that, unlike her husband, Anna wouldn’t say it unless she truly meant it. “Thank you, Anna.”

“The guests have begun arriving. I think the Commander is a bit nervous.”

“Honestly, you’d think the man never attended a party before. I suppose I should get down there so he doesn’t have a heart attack.”

Anna smiled and followed Ellie down the stairs, parting ways at the bottom so Ellie could join her husband and Anna could return to serving guests. Hard as it may be over the course of the evening, Anna was determined to stay within arms reach of Ellie.

As the evening wore on, people raved about the food and got drunk, but nothing of significance happened. Kurt had managed to drop a bottle of champagne in the kitchen, but hardly anyone heard the glass break and the evening went on as usual. Men in secluded clusters discussed business while the women discussed everything else from their home lives to children to vacations to gossip. Eventually people began to leave and, couple by couple, the house cleared out. All in all, it was a successful evening.

While Charles accompanied had the last of the guests out Ellie excused herself, blatantly aware by his shooing her aside that her husband no doubt wanted a few extra minutes alone with the men. She took the time to change out of her gown and was about to express to Anna her gratitude about the success of the evening when from the top of the stairs she saw her husband had come back inside and was now talking with the woman.

His back was to her and was unaware she had been watching, which may have been to her advantage since what she witnessed wasn’t something he would have liked her to have seen.

Although she smiled and nodded with feigned interest in whatever he was saying, Anna appeared to be doing her best to remain polite by graciously tolerating his advances, but Ellie could see her patience waning. He continued stroking his hand up the length of Anna's arm, and she gently persuaded him to stop by taking a step backwards and even went as far as gently pushing his should away, but Ellie's own patience was wearing thin. Yes, he had too much to drink, but that was no excuse for his licentious behavior. And then, when he leaned in and attempted to kiss Anna, she nearly lost her mind and wanted to race down the stairs and beat the man.

She quickly suppressed the urge to strangle the man on the spot in hopes of not making the situation worse and promptly returned to her bedroom, waiting for him to come. She would question him about it then.

The minutes dragged on and her fury grew, but she realized her misplaced anger was not so much with her husband as with herself, yet she couldn’t quite put her finger on the cause. She didn’t care that he flirted with anyone behind her back. It had probably been going on for years. She didn’t care. What she cared about was that he flirted with Anna. And to watch the man step in on her territory, making advances on Anna…Suddenly, as if a light had gone on she realized that her misguided anger had truly been jealousy.

But she wasn’t jealous of Anna. She was jealous of him!

She wanted to be the person who made Anna smile…who lovingly stroked her arm and leaned in for that kiss.

She opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out the drawing. Her eyes outlined Anna's frame as her mind wandered back to the day she drew it. How beautiful Anna looked…how beautiful she is…

Anna's smile…her laugh…

Their first embrace...Though it wasn’t brought on by the best of circumstances, she sensed a real connection with the woman that afternoon. Anna wanted desperately to reach out, to tell her secret. Ellie knew she did, she could sense it but didn’t push the issue. And she was willing to accept it, whatever it was.

And then later that day Anna found her in bed, sick, and stayed with her through the night despite it being her day off…despite how tired she was herself. She could have just as easily gone about her business. She was under no obligation to stay, yet she did. And the things she revealed while Anna thought no one was listening, secrets she kept buried deep within herself all these years…Anna shared them with her. Anna trusted her enough to divulge them.

Was this love? She had heard about love and what it feels like, but she never experienced this with Charles. He bought her anything she wanted, but the one thing she needed…the one thing she felt was missing from her life all these years she realized was within her grasp.

She had long ago given up on feeling it. She assumed it was just something she had missed out on in life. But she hadn’t missed out at all. She merely had her attention in the wrong place.

“What have you got there?” Charles asked as he stepped into the room.

“A drawing I’ve been fiddling around with. Care to take a peak?” she offered, knowing he wouldn’t be interested.

“Another time. I’m tired and I’ve got to wake up early.”

He undressed, turned off the light, and climbed into bed. Not a word about Anna. Not a kiss goodnight.

Just as well, she thought. She placed the drawing back into the nightstand and went to sleep herself, only this time with a renewed sense of who she was, bringing such happiness and a smile to her lips that she had to fight off a laugh from the sheer joy it brought her.

The next several days were business as usual for Anna, with one exception. Ellie appeared a great deal more euphoric than usual. Normally she would have discounted it as caused by her husband returning home, but the man left early the morning after the party and hasn’t been home since, which wasn’t unusual for him but that was when the sudden change began. She didn’t recall a single time seeing the woman since then without a smile on her face. Whatever the cause of Ellie's elated happiness, Anna was glad for it. Watching Ellie this happy gave her joy like nothing else had lately, and she felt it was safe to let her own guard down even more, basking in the feeling. She wasn’t afraid to let herself secretly love Ellie a little more, knowing that Ellie was safe in her own world, away from the darkness that loving Anna would bring.

Their meals together became interesting too. Ellie had suddenly begun sharing personal things about herself, opening herself up in a way she never had. She discussed in length her love of books, which Anna was mildly aware of but Ellie elaborated on greatly, what her childhood was like, and even her dream to pursue her love of art and have it on display in a gallery one day. Yes, whatever the reason of Ellie's happiness Anna was grateful for it too.

But then one day it all changed. She had been tidying Ellie's bedroom and allowing her mind to wander when she noticed something out of the ordinary. From across the room she detected Ellie's nightstand drawer slightly ajar and for some odd reason she felt the urge to look inside. She had taken a peak in the Commander’s drawer from time to time, purely for gathering information purposes, but he never had anything in there aside from a handgun, which she assumed was for protection, a pair of reading glasses, and a few pens.

With a bit of caution, she listened for any noise in the hall but didn’t hear anything. She felt terribly guilty for even entertaining the thought of snooping like this, especially since she knew Ellie wouldn’t have any information that she could pass along to Michael, but the nagging urge to sneak a peak wouldn’t go away. When she knew it was safe to look without someone walking in on her, she gave in to the temptation and opened the drawer, immediately dropping her jaw at what she found laying on top.

A portrait of her.

A flurry of emotions from amazement at how accurate the likeness was to resentment brought on by Ellie's sneakiness in composing such a drawing without her knowledge or permission filled her up as she studied the image. However, she realized the woman had taken a great deal of care in composing the image, and Anna was quite impressed by Ellie's talent and wondered why she ever gave it up in the first place.

Then something else caught her eye: the noticeable wearing of the drawing’s outer edges. Clearly Ellie had handled it a great deal for it to be worn so badly at the corners.

Then something sparked within her.

Anna began recalling their recent interactions, smiles and innocent touches that suddenly didn’t hold the innocence they once did. Was it possibly Ellie could return her feelings? Could Ellie possibly love her the way she loved Ellie?

She began to sense a heightened tension in her relationship with the woman. The thought of Ellie possibly returning her feelings wasn’t as far fetched now as she once thought and it began to scare her. She couldn’t allow this to happen. It was true that her view of Ellie's life wasn’t as perfect as she once thought it was, especially with Mr. Schraeder making unwanted advances on her the other night, but that was no reason to risk hurting Ellie. Honestly, Anna, what could you offer her that she doesn’t already have?

“Anna!”

Ellie suddenly called for her and she jumped. She quickly placed the drawing back into the drawer and went downstairs to see why Ellie called her.

Ellie was in the kitchen hunched over at the sink, and as Anna entered the room Ellie turned around with a bouquet of flowers.

“Do you like orchids, Anna?” she asked. “I thought they might brighten up your room.”

Orchids. Anna loved orchids. What woman wouldn’t love orchids? But one look into Ellie's eyes, the bright expression and warm, loving gaze she held, and Anna knew her suspicion had been confirmed. She recognized that look. She’d seen it in Rachel’s eyes. She never saw it when Ellie looked at her husband, but in this moment she knew that her feelings for Ellie were most definitely returned.

“I love orchids. Thank you,” she said, taking the offered vase. She wanted so desperately to scoop the woman up into her arms and kiss her, tell her how much she loved her, but she knew that was the wrong response. Any encouragement could ruin Ellie's life. She had a husband, a baby on the way, a great house, everything she wanted. There was too much at risk and she wouldn’t let her selfish feelings ruin things for Ellie.

“I’m going to put these in my room right now,” she said. She needed to think. She needed to get away. Away. Far away. She needed to…leave.

Anna spent the remainder of the evening trying her best to act normal. Although it was killing her to have to leave this woman in a few hours, she was determined to make the most of what little time she had left with Ellie. They sat and talked for hours, leaving Anna hanging on to Ellie's every word, cherishing every minute they had before she left. But as the night wore on and Ellie finally became tired and retired for the evening, it nearly broke Anna's heart all over again knowing this was the end…the last time she would ever see Ellie.

She returned to her room, threw what little belongings she had into a bag, and wrote a letter explaining her sudden disappearance. She had no idea where she was going or what she would do. She didn’t care where she ended up, but she knew that staying here wasn’t the answer. She couldn’t go through that hurt again and survive.

Two days later, Ellie sat in shock as she read the letter for the fifth time and still couldn’t believe her eyes. Anna had returned to Germany to take care of her sick mother. Although in the letter Anna also thanked her profusely for her kindness, she made mention of not returning. In the course of one day, Ellie’s world had gone from an all time high to crashing down and was now killing her slowly.

The day seemed to drag on for her and there was a terrible pang in her gut that wouldn’t go away. She tried to put Anna out of her mind, occupying her time with reading and drawing and any other thing she could think of that would help pass the time, but it was futile. Anna remained her foremost thought. Finally, when she couldn’t tolerate the aching any longer, she went to the place her husband kept papers pertaining to the hired help and retrieved the personal information on Anna.

It wasn’t much more than some scrib